Uncategorized Archive - soul fish

When I Am Carried by the River

Angela Fischlein — Sat, 25 Oct 2025 17:11:50 +0000

When the River Carries Me

Aging is not a sudden break — it is a river that keeps carrying us onward, sometimes gently, sometimes fiercely.
Between letting go of the old shores and trusting the new currents lies a quiet initiation — one that can feel unsettling, yet deeply sacred.

Aging — that mysterious word that at times frightens us and yet inevitably calls our name.
It is not a standstill, not a fading, but a transformation that unfolds right in the midst of life.
As we learn to struggle less and trust more, a different space begins to open — softer, wider, truer.

This text is an invitation to stop trying to control the river of life and to surrender to its flow.
It is a reminder I whisper — or sometimes say out loud — to myself every day.
A piece of soul work, a touch of magic,
and perhaps a gentle recognition that aging is not an ending,
but another way of shining.

Of Aging, of Letting Go, and of Becoming

As you may have noticed, I’ve been spending more time lately with the theme of aging.
Perhaps because time itself feels quieter now.
Perhaps because the mirror has grown more honest.
Or perhaps because the inner call to become still has grown louder
than the noise of the world.

Against the Current

How long has it been?
That wild, defiant, radiant time when I swam against the current —
relentless, fierce, carried by the firm belief
that staying forever young must somehow be possible.

I swam as if my life depended on it.
And maybe it did — the life that still needed to prove itself back then.
I wanted to be invincible, luminous, swift —
a spark of stardust refusing to fade.

The Secret of Letting Go

And then, at some point, words began to drift toward me — quietly, yet unstoppable:
“Aging is not the end of swimming. It is the art of being carried.”

Since then, I have been practicing.
I no longer swim against time, – at least I try.
I let myself be carried. I let myself be changed.

Because, truthfully, there is no other way.
So I allow myself to be the river — not just the swimmer.

It sounds poetic, yes — but in truth, it is also uncomfortable.
For being carried means to trust what is greater than my will,
stronger than my ambition, older than my body.

It means making peace with my own finiteness —
and that is not an easy conversation.

The Art of Transparency

I discover: I have not become less.
I have become more porous.
Life moves through me like water through a sieve of light.
The forms change — the essence remains.

Sometimes I think of Inanna, the Sumerian goddess,
who descended into the underworld to surrender her garments and crowns,
until she stood naked and vulnerable before herself.

Perhaps aging is exactly that —
a sacred descent, a shedding of roles, certainties, and masks.
Not to lose oneself,
but to become more true.

The Breath of Heaven

And yet — sometimes, when the wind runs through my hair,
I feel the whole sky breathing within me.
As if everything I have let go of has returned,
softer, larger, transformed.

I realize: aging is not a vanishing.
It is a returning —
to the rhythm that carries us all,
to the place where the “I” no longer struggles,
but becomes part of the great river itself.

Who Am I When the Roles Fall Away?

When the parameters of identification begin to dissolve —
all that you believed yourself to be, your roles, your tasks,
the reflection you’ve seen in the eyes of others —
a trembling begins.
A fine, unsettling vibration at the very core of the self.

It feels as though the ground on which you built your life
suddenly turns soft —
not because it disappears,
but because it turns into water not because it disappears, but because it turns into water — or something like quicksand.

At first, there is often fear.
Who am I if I am no longer who I was?
The therapist, the mother, the warrior, the wise one, the lover —
each of them begins to loosen and peel away,
like skins you have worn for a long, long time.

It is a kind of undressing,
not before the eyes of others,
but before the mirror of your own soul.

The Quiet Revolution of Transparency

Socially, it can feel as though you’re slipping out of the grid.
The old answers to “So, what do you do?” dissolve into a gentle smile, -sometimes.
You begin to notice that belonging no longer arises from roles, but from resonance.
That identity is not fixed — it breathes.

In this state, something quietly revolutionary happens:
You begin to no longer have yourself — you begin to be yourself.
Not as a construct, but as a living movement.
The form of “I” becomes permeable,
and through its openings flows life itself — unedited, unmasked, unapologetically real.

It is not a state for vanity —
but it is one for the soul.

And you?

How do you meet your own aging?
Which myths accompany you — which images, which voices?
Would you like to share your reflections?
I would love to hear them.

Because perhaps aging, when we look at it together,
is not a decline —
but an initiation into the mystery of a becoming not yet visible.

Der Beitrag When I Am Carried by the River erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

Dignity and Aging

Angela Fischlein — Sat, 11 Oct 2025 12:37:09 +0000

Aging – for many women it remains a quiet taboo, a process few dare to speak of.
In a society that worships youth and perfection, maturity is often told as a story of loss – something to correct, conceal, or defeat. Yet aging is not a downfall, but a transformation: an invitation to enter one’s own depth.

As a psychotherapist, I see how deeply these transitions move women – including myself – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In every fiber, the body calls for relationship, for attention, for a new and tender dialogue. Aging reveals what has long been ignored: needs, boundaries, vulnerability – but also wisdom, self-knowledge, and dignity.

As an artist, I explore this transformation through images. In my collages, bodies, symbols, and inner landscapes merge – telling stories of transformation, of the beauty of ripening, of the courage to remain visible.

For me, aging has become a creative process: a shedding of old skins, a listening to what remains when there is no longer the need to impress. A becoming – in the midst of passing.

There is the shock – almost a betrayal.

My body, once so loyal, so alive – the body that carried me, danced wildly, healed without question – now lies still more often. It no longer sets itself right. It asks for my attention. It speaks through a burning heel, through a hip that will not rest, through a fatigue that lingers like a shadow.

This is my encounter with a new dimension of being.

No longer the whirling dance of before, but a quiet pas de deux with impermanence.

I used to recover quickly – a week, and all was well again.
I was the self-reliant woman – strong, unbending, always ready to swing the sword, no matter how heavy the blade. It worked – magnificently, for a long time.

But now, things are different.
An infection that lingers for months, a heel that still burns, a hip that speaks to me each night.
It is as if my body is whispering the truth of finitude into my ear – persistent, unrelenting, and utterly clear.

The First Awakening

At first, there was shock — and then frustration.
The quiet outrage of realizing that my body, once so reliable, no longer obeys my familiar rhythm.
The “as before” no longer returns on command.
For decades, I could trust it to recover within days, to find its own alignment, to dance me through whatever came. But this year, the body speaks a different language.

It no longer self-corrects. It demands conversation, attention, tenderness — on its own mysterious terms.

Aging comes with its own agenda:

💧 The loss of elasticity — joints whisper, fascia pull tight, healing lingers.
💧 The silence of hormones — the gentle protection of estrogen has faded, and with it a youthful ease in skin, bone, and metabolism.
💧 The fragility of sleep — nights where body and mind call out instead of resting.

And through all this I begin to understand:
It is not about reclaiming the body I once had.
It is about receiving the one I have now.

This requires a new choreography:

💧 Instead of demanding, I learn to listen.
💧 Instead of striving, I practice slowing down.
💧 Instead of pushing through, I begin to soften — with small rituals, warm water, gentle movement, the kind of care that feels like prayer.

It is not easy.
There are days when the resistance is loud, when the memory of my old vitality stings.
But beneath the frustration, something else begins to stir — a quieter strength, born of surrender rather than control.

The Mirror of Society

We live in a culture that worships youth and smoothness,
that tells women their worth fades as their faces deepen and their bodies change.
But alongside this noise, another image is emerging —
a quiet revolution of women who meet their physical ripening with presence, not denial.

Where are our role models?
Perhaps they are already among us —
women who do not retreat into invisibility but step forward differently,
wearing their years as a mantle of truth rather than a disguise.

They move more slowly, yes,
but with the gravity of those who have lived and loved deeply.
They no longer serve the dictatorship of perfection.
They celebrate their bodies not because they are flawless,
but because they are real.
They speak of pain and change, of desire and strength, of joy that has learned endurance.

Finding Words, Building Bridges

To speak of aging — to name what changes — is an act of courage.
Language builds bridges: to ourselves, to one another, to a new kind of wholeness.
In speaking, we become witnesses to our own unfolding.

And so another image of womanhood begins to take shape — one that refuses erasure:

💧 A woman who carries her age openly, without apology.
💧 She wears her lines and her silver hair like a map of her becoming.
💧 Her body no longer rushes to please — it asks to be met.
💧 She does not hide — she transforms.
💧 She does not vanish — she arrives anew.

In a world that worships youth as the ultimate currency,
she embodies another beauty:
the beauty of ripeness, of clarity, of presence that no longer needs to prove itself.

And you — how do you meet your own aging?
I would love to hear your reflections, your stories,
your ways of listening to the changing rhythm of your own body.

Der Beitrag Dignity and Aging erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

When the world around us is drifting apart

Angela Fischlein — Fri, 19 Sep 2025 11:49:13 +0000

When the world pulls apart on all sides and voices drown each other out, we need inner antennas to sense where our life force may flow. Instead of letting ourselves be scattered, we can choose to guide it into channels that nourish us, connect us, and keep us moving.

As the days grow shorter, a space opens that calls us inward. It is a time when seeds ripen in the darkness before they become visible. From this depth arise forms, sounds, movements – the raw material of our creativity.

To create means embracing two things: the daring to set out into unknown terrain without a map, and the patience to grant the invisible protection and endurance.

Creative work means swinging between closeness and distance – engaging, releasing, returning. Only in this interplay does clarity emerge, and with it the moment when the next step reveals itself.

And so the one question arises: What is the one thing that truly calls me – and what is the first small gesture today that opens the door toward it?

Whoever walks this path learns to trust the invisible sight of night, to honor the body as guide, and to recognize in the voices of others the echo of one’s own search.

In this field of questions and sometimes tense experiences, images grow within me that then burst forth like a liberation – and often only reveal their meaning afterward, in the act of beholding. Thus, a few new digital collages have emerged, and one of them carries a story it longs to tell:

At the hour when the stars stand above the earth like open and watchful eyes, the unknown woman encounters the bull of blue light. Her hair streams in the wind, and her feet know the essence of the earth.

The bull – though one might not see it at first glance – is ancient. He is the symbol of the earth, of fertility, of wild natural power, of untamed instinct. In myths he has long borne goddesses across lands and seas. He is the beast of the moon, of sexuality, of creative potency.

He is the bull of blue light, whose horns hold the moons and whose mane carries the fire of the world.

His deep blue color mirrors the sacred, the transcendent that slumbers within matter.

The unknown woman with white hair wears no shoes, for she walks the path between worlds. Fish swim beside her in the air, birds sing in the element of water, and a butterfly leads her as though it were a messenger of transformation.

She climbs upon the back of the bull of azure substance. Each of his steps resounds like the heartbeat of the earth. His horns are not of horn but carved from moonlight. In his mane lives the fire of the elements. He bears spirals and seals upon his skin – ancient signs that can neither be read nor forgotten, only felt: the alphabet of the unconscious.

The nameless woman, with hair like flowing time, merges with the bull. She is the awareness, the soul, the guiding force that dares to ride upon matter.

The soul moves with matter, the light upon the heavy, the infinite upon the finite. Thus the bull strides with the woman upon his back across the hill – not spirit or flesh, heaven or earth, but always both at once.

At last, upon the highest hill, the bull stands still and speaks without words into the wind of time:
“I am the power that carries. You are the breath that guides. Without you I remain blind, without me you become groundless. Together we are balance.”

In times of tension, it helps to return again and again to one’s own silence, in order to hear the subtle voice beneath it. Whoever feels the breath discovers a thread that carries them through storm and restlessness. And when we remember what truly nourishes us, the inner compass realigns itself on its own.

And of course, it is easier said than done. The path through silence and not-knowing is an athletic challenge in its own right.

DigitalCollage – ©️Angela Fischlein

Der Beitrag When the world around us is drifting apart erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

Aphrodite – domesticated

Angela Fischlein — Tue, 02 Sep 2025 11:22:40 +0000

Aphrodite was never originally a harmless goddess of beauty—she was a force. In pre-Greek cultures, we find her ancestors: Inanna, Ishtar, Astarte—goddesses who united love, war, and kingship within themselves. These goddesses held power over life and death; they were mistresses of sexuality and fertility, but also of politics and war. They embodied a feminine power that does not ask—it commands.

And then, one day, the patriarchy makes its triumphant entrance—and with it, a transformation.

With the rise of patriarchal systems (Indo-European cultures, the Olympian pantheon), the structure changes:
The former Great Goddess is fragmented into separate figures: Hera (marriage), Demeter (motherhood), Athena (wisdom), Artemis (virginity), Aphrodite (eroticism).
This fragmentation destroys the earlier wholeness of feminine power.

Aphrodite is now reduced to a single aspect: beauty and erotic allure. Her warrior side goes to Ares, her political authority to Zeus.
What was once sovereign omnipotence becomes a muse for male desire, what was once a goddess of war becomes a goddess of adornment.

The rise of patriarchal systems is not a myth in a vacuum—it reflects the historical transition from egalitarian or women-centered cultures to hierarchical, warrior societies. The Olympian myths are the literary imprint of this revolution of power.

The Birth of the Tamed Goddess

In Hesiod’s Theogony, her origin is told: Aphrodite is born from the foam that forms when the severed genitals of Uranus fall into the sea. This very birth is already a myth of transition: the female womb, once the source of all life, is stripped of its power. Now Aphrodite does not come from a goddess, but from an act of male violence. She becomes the product of a castration, no longer the creative primal force herself.

Marriage as Domestication

Hardly born, Aphrodite is forced into marriage with Hephaestus, the lame smith—a stark break from the ancient freedom of love goddesses. Hephaestus represents the patriarchal need to capture this untamed erotic power, to fix it like iron in the fire. Aphrodite resists, takes lovers (Ares, Adonis), but the story brands her as a faithless adulteress, not as a free lover.

Reduction to Beauty and Allure

In patriarchal society, she is reduced to aesthetic attractiveness and sexual availability. She is no longer the mistress of war (that role goes to Ares), no longer the arbiter of kingdoms (like Inanna), but becomes a symbol of feminine seduction—and therefore of danger that must be tamed.

This is reflected in the myths:

The Judgment of Paris: Aphrodite wins the beauty contest by promising a man (Paris) the most beautiful woman (Helen). Her power is thus defined by what men desire—not by herself.

The Adonis Myth: She loves, but she cannot prevent death. She weeps. She is powerless.

The Patriarchal Moral Hammer

Aphrodite is portrayed as a source of chaos—she leads to adultery, war (Troy), destruction. The underlying message: female sexuality is dangerous, uncontrollable, and must be bound by order (Zeus, Hephaestus).

The Loss of Wholeness

Compared to Inanna, who “descends to the underworld and returns,” honored in rituals as both queen and warrior, Aphrodite is a fragmented goddess. Her power over war, death, and sovereignty is outsourced (to Ares, Zeus, Hades). What remains is eroticism without sovereignty, beauty without a sword.

Feminist Interpretation:

Aphrodite symbolizes how patriarchy sexualizes, aestheticizes, and then controls female power. Yet in her shadows—in the wild, capricious, seductive, even destructive Aphrodite—the memory of the untamed goddess still lives on.

Der Beitrag Aphrodite – domesticated erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

Demeter – aspects of the ancient feminine

Angela Fischlein — Fri, 29 Aug 2025 12:03:31 +0000

When Persephone, the beloved daughter of the goddess Demeter, is abducted by Hades into the underworld, a deep darkness falls over the world. Demeter, goddess of fertility and grain, is paralyzed by grief. She wanders restlessly across the earth, searching for her daughter and refusing to let anything grow. Fields wither, trees shed their leaves, and humanity begins to starve. The world holds its breath.

All the gods try to console her—in vain. No word, no comfort reaches her. Her grief is as vast as the abyss itself.

Then Baubo appears, a servant in the house of the King of Eleusis, where Demeter has taken refuge. She is neither powerful nor divine, yet she carries within her something older than all the laws of the gods: the raw, untamed force of the primal feminine.

Baubo sees the goddess, heavy and mute in her sorrow, and understands: only a shock, only laughter that rises from the depths of the belly, can call her back to life. So she resorts to a means that is both radical—and sacred. She lifts her robe, exposes her vulva, and utters a coarse jest, so outrageous that even the shadows of the underworld would tremble.

And then the miracle happens: Demeter, who has not laughed for days, looks—and laughs. At first hesitantly, then her whole body shakes, and from her laughter life bursts forth. A crack runs through the wall of her grief, light breaks in, warmth returns.

The earth breathes again.

For in this moment, in this obscene, wild, and sacred gesture, the goddess remembers what she truly is: the source of life, the womb of the world, the primordial mother whose power lies not in the head but in the womb, in laughter, in blood, and in the earth itself.

Baubo does not simply reveal a body part—she reveals the gate of life, the primal essence, the power that no order and no death can ever fully subdue. In this gesture resides fertility, vitality, the defiance of despair. And within it lies the message: life insists on continuing—even in the face of death.

Baubo

Symbolic Meaning of Baubo’s Gesture

The Primal Feminine as the Source of Life
Baubo’s exposed vulva is not obscene in the modern sense, but an ancient symbol of the creative principle. It embodies the womb of the earth, the origin of all life. This gesture reminds Demeter—and us—that life springs from the physical, the feminine, the earthbound.

Sacred Obscenity – Laughter as Healing
The laughter Baubo provokes is not superficial amusement but an archaic, purifying force. In many myths, the sacred is invoked through humor and corporeality. Here, the feminine is shown not only as fertile but as healing: the womb and laughter break the spell of death and grief.

The Power of Shock and Reversal
Baubo uses transgression to break through a deadlock. Her gesture defies norms and overturns hierarchy: a simple servant “instructs” a goddess. This shows that primal feminine power is not tied to status or authority—it is universal, raw, untamed.

Integrating the Body into the Spiritual
This scene unites the physical and the divine. Spirituality here is neither distant nor ascetic, but deeply rooted in the body, in cycles, in sexuality. The feminine is not portrayed as sinful or inferior, but as the gateway to life and renewal.

Fertility as Defiance Against Death
While Demeter casts the winter of grief over the world, Baubo’s gesture calls forth spring. It is an act of life’s insistence, an ancient “no” to the rigidity of death. The vulva becomes a symbol of hope, creation, and cyclical return.

Feminist & Archetypal Interpretations

Marija Gimbutas – The Language of the Goddess (Significance of vulva symbols in ancient European culture.), Erica Jong – Sappho’s Leap (References to female humor and the erotically fertile archetype.), Clarissa Pinkola Estés – Women Who Run With the Wolves (Chapters on “Sacred Laughter” and the role of the feminine as life force.), Mary Daly – Gyn/Ecology (Radical feminist analysis, including vulva symbolism as a source of power.)

Der Beitrag Demeter – aspects of the ancient feminine erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

Daughter Archetype

Angela Fischlein — Thu, 30 Jan 2025 18:57:18 +0000

In the deep psyche of every woman lies a powerful voice yearning for expression. The Daughter archetype is far more than just a role—it is a guide to self-discovery and personal growth.

The Daughter archetype is a central aspect of the female psyche, symbolizing youth, innocence, curiosity, and the potential for growth. It appears in many myths, fairy tales, and psychological models, reflecting both its light and shadow sides.

The Daughter archetype is also one of the 13 archetypes of womanhood, representing a phase of female development. Within the cycle of the year, it is associated with the month of February. Its awakening aligns with the new moon festival “Imbolc,” which celebrates the return of light.

According to Elizabeth Davis and Carol Leonard, who describe the 13 archetypal life phases of a woman in their book The Women’s Wheel of Life, the Daughter archetype represents early youth—a time of blossoming and exploration.

In a seven-year cycle, the Daughter (or inner child) experiences about 14 years before gradually transitioning into the archetype of the Young Woman/Virgin. This transition is a natural part of female development and can be observed through the following phases:

The Two Main Phases of the Daughter (0–14 years)

0–7 Years: The Innocent, the Free Inner Child

This phase is marked by curiosity, wonder, and discovery.

The child lives in the present moment, feeling deeply connected to imagination and play.

They explore the world with trust and openness.

Emotional foundations are shaped through bonding experiences.

7–14 Years: The Seeker, the Transitional Daughter

The first steps of self-discovery begin in this phase. The child becomes more self-aware and starts developing their own identity.

Friendships and social structures gain importance.

First conflicts with authority figures arise, as independence becomes increasingly significant.

AudioCredit – Dvir from Pixabay
DigitalArt – ©️Angela Fischlein

Light Sides of the Daughter

Innocence & Purity – She represents unfiltered joy, naivety, and a pure heart.

Curiosity & Thirst for Discovery – The Daughter is open to new experiences and explores the world with wonder.

Joy for Life & Spontaneity – She embodies lightness, playful creativity, and the ability to enjoy life carefree.

Hope & Growth – She symbolizes the potential for development and transformation.

Trust & Devotion – She approaches others with an open heart and believes in the good in people.

Shadow Sides of the Daughter

Dependency & Immaturity – She may remain stuck in an eternal childhood role and struggle to take responsibility.

Naivety & Manipulability – Her innocence can make her vulnerable to being exploited or deceived.

Refusal to Grow Up – She clings to childish ideals and avoids facing life’s challenges.

Rebellious Immaturity – Instead of growing consciously, she may defiantly resist authority without thoughtful reasoning.

Self-Doubt & Insecurity – If she craves too much external validation, she may lose herself in dependency on others’ opinions and expectations.

Why Do We Reflect on the Daughter Archetype?

Engaging with the Daughter archetype allows us to dive deep into our personal history and recognize how this aspect influences our present life. It is about understanding old patterns, transforming limiting beliefs, and rediscovering our inner vitality.

Possible Insights and Goals of This Reflection:

Understanding Our Conditioning – How was my inner Daughter shaped in childhood? Which experiences strengthened me, and which ones made me feel insecure?

Recognizing Shadow Aspects – Where am I holding onto childish patterns that are blocking me today? Am I still dependent on external validation? Do I fear responsibility or growing up?

Integrating the Daughter’s Resources – The Daughter embodies joy, curiosity, and creativity. How can I bring these qualities into my life today?

Healing the Inner Child – If my inner Daughter was wounded, I can now offer her attention, comfort, and appreciation. I can learn to hold myself in the way I once needed.

Awareness of Inner Growth Steps – Which old beliefs can I let go of? What new mindset can I develop to step into my power?

Strengthening Self-Love and Empowerment – When I acknowledge and honor my inner Daughter, I can transform her from a source of lack into a source of strength.

Reflecting on this archetype is an invitation to see ourselves through loving eyes—with all our vulnerability, yet also with our innate, untamed life force.

Der Beitrag Daughter Archetype erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

Autumn Queen

Angela Fischlein — Fri, 01 Nov 2024 08:58:55 +0000

The Autumn Queen as an Archetype

The Autumn Queen exists in various mythologies, cultures, and literary traditions, often representing transition, maturation, letting go, and the wisdom of natural cycles embodied by autumn. She can be understood as the embodiment of the harvest, the transition from abundance to rest, and the final burst of color before winter. Thus, the Autumn Queen is a multifaceted archetype that symbolizes both natural and inner change in the life cycle. She illustrates the power of maturation and letting go, inspiring acceptance of natural cycles by beautifully and melancholically intertwining wisdom and transience.

In addition to the Wine Queen and Beer Queen, there are many regional queens associated with autumn and harvest time, often linked to local products or customs. Here are a few examples:

Apple Queen – She represents apple-growing regions and symbolizes the autumn harvest of apple trees, particularly in fruit-growing areas.

Pumpkin Queen – In line with the pumpkin harvest and Thanksgiving, this queen is often crowned in areas that host pumpkin festivals.

Blossom Queen – Typically crowned in fruit and flower-growing regions, she represents the beauty and harvest of blossoms.

Hop Queen – Similar to the Beer Queen, but specific to hop-growing regions, as hops are harvested in autumn.

Potato Queen – In potato-growing areas, she serves as a popular harvest ambassador, symbolizing the importance of the potato harvest.

These queens traditionally represent regional culture and the significance of the respective harvest for the community.

Modern Autumn and Harvest Festivals

Modern autumn and harvest festivals draw on many of these ancient symbols, even if the mythological backgrounds often resonate only indirectly today. Here are some examples of how the connection to mythology is celebrated:

Thanksgiving Festivals: The tradition of Thanksgiving, rooted in the cult of goddesses like Demeter or Ceres, is celebrated in many regions with parades, decorated harvest crowns, and festive meals. These festivals honor the harvest and remind us of our dependence on nature, similar to ancient ceremonies of gratitude for fertility goddesses.

Autumn Queens and Local Harvest Queens: When harvest queens are chosen, they often reflect the symbolic role of goddesses who embodied abundance and life in ancient myths. This selection celebrates female figures as guardians of the harvest and renewal.

Pumpkin Festivals and Harvest Parades: These festivities often have roots in celebrations for the cycle of life and death. The pumpkin, as a symbol of autumn, and the tradition of carving it have mythological parallels to rituals that acknowledge the dark and light in nature.

Mythical Narratives and Fairy Tales: In some places, old tales are told at this time of year, symbolizing the death and rebirth of nature, such as the story of Persephone, who descends into Hades and brings winter. These stories come alive in storytelling evenings or theater performances.

Rituals and Nature Ceremonies: Some groups, especially in nature-spiritual circles, celebrate Samhain or similar rituals that honor the cycle of life and death and the renewal of the earth. They strongly evoke the ancient festivals that symbolized the transition to winter and reverence for earth goddesses.

Overall, the connection to ancient mythology persists through the symbolism and celebration of the harvest in autumn rituals and harvest queens, even if the mythological details are often no longer taken literally.

Der Beitrag Autumn Queen erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

Symbiosis or companionship

Angela Fischlein — Sun, 06 Oct 2024 09:21:19 +0000

A few weeks ago, my dog lost his eyesight within the span of a single day. Perhaps this is only temporary, perhaps at some point he will be able to distinguish between light and dark again, or perhaps he will never see again—we do not know yet.

This challenging situation has made me reflect deeply, especially regarding responsibility and the profound emotional entanglements that become so apparent in such moments. What images do we unconsciously communicate, in what vibrations and frequencies do we move, where are we entangled in our own helplessness, and how can we accompany with clarity and create space for healing (in whatever form that may take) without expectations?

This experience can serve as an analogy to a family system and illustrate how dynamics within a family operate similarly to those within a pack, and how important individual roles, boundaries, clarity, and separation are. In a family system—as in a pack—roles and responsibilities can become intertwined during crises or illnesses. Each individual tends to lose themselves in the collective dynamic.

In a family with sick family members, a symbiosis can develop, where the identities of the individual family members are often closely intertwined. This symbiosis means that the well-being or suffering of one family member, especially a sick one, strongly affects the entire family system. It is a state where the emotional and psychological balance of the whole family depends on the illness or well-being of the affected member. For the other family members, it can be challenging to separate themselves from this dynamic and preserve their own identity.

Challenges of Symbiosis in the Family

Emotional Pressure: Family members may feel responsible for the well-being of the sick member. Often, there is a sense that one must sacrifice their own needs in order to support the other. This mutual emotional dependency can lead to an “invisible obligation” to alleviate or carry the suffering of the other.

Loss of Personal Identity: In such a symbiotic relationship, it can be difficult to differentiate between one’s own feelings and those of the sick family member. The family dynamic might lead one to define themselves through the role of helper or supporter, rather than focusing on their own needs and goals.

Unconscious Role Assumption: Often, healthy family members unconsciously take on specific roles, such as the “rescuer,” the “caregiver,” or the “mother figure,” to meet the demands of the situation. These roles can hinder personal development and lead to a sense of self-sacrifice.

Fear of Separation: Setting boundaries can be associated with feelings of guilt. There may be a fear of acting selfishly or abandoning the sick family member if one focuses on their own limits. This fear of distancing often maintains the symbiosis.

Steps to Setting Boundaries

Developing Awareness: The first step is to become aware of the symbiotic dynamics. Reflect on how emotionally intertwined you are with the sick family member and how this affects your own desires and goals. Awareness is the key to recognizing where boundaries are needed.

Prioritizing Self-Care: It is essential to pay attention to your own needs. Self-care is not selfishness; it is a necessary practice to remain healthy and stable in the long term. This includes taking breaks, personal time, activities that bring joy, and emotional relief through conversations or therapeutic support.

Fostering Emotional Independence: It can be helpful to practice emotional distance by learning to differentiate between your own emotions and those of the sick family member. This means showing compassion without fully taking on the emotional burdens. You can be there for the other person without assuming responsibility for their healing.

Setting Healthy Boundaries: Setting boundaries does not mean cutting off contact or withdrawing support, but drawing clear lines regarding what you can provide emotionally and physically. These boundaries allow space for your own identity without neglecting the family relationship.

Communication and Openness: It is important to be open with your family about your own needs and boundaries. An honest exchange about the burdens and feelings can help clarify roles and prevent expectations or misunderstandings. Clarity and open communication can help reduce guilt and normalize setting boundaries.

Seeking Outside Support: Professional support, whether through therapy, coaching, or support groups, can help you become aware of your own role and provide emotional support. This creates space to work on your own identity independently of the family dynamics and to learn healthy boundary-setting.

Seeing the Illness as Part, but Not the Whole, of the Family: It is important to recognize that while the illness affects the life of the family, it should not define the entire existence of the family. Each person in the family has their own needs, dreams, and goals that are worth pursuing, regardless of the challenges posed by the illness.

Finding healthy boundaries in a family with a sick family member is a challenge that requires emotional strength and self-reflection. By cultivating awareness, setting clear boundaries, and strengthening one’s own identity, one can remain in a supportive role without losing oneself in the process. This is not only crucial for one’s own well-being but ultimately also for the healthy functioning of the entire family system.

If you are up to finding more clarity re your family dynamics just contact me and we’ll work out a plan for deeper self reflection and transformational processes in your life!

Der Beitrag Symbiosis or companionship erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

When contracts become invalid…

Angela Fischlein — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 15:26:20 +0000

The Unspoken “Contract” Between Child and Parents: The Dynamics of Self-Denial and Its Effects on the Autonomic Nervous System

In early childhood, an invisible yet profound dynamic often develops between the child and their parents. This unconscious “agreement” serves to maintain balance within the family system and represents a survival strategy for the child. During this phase, children are completely dependent on the care and protection of their parents. They need security, safety, and emotional closeness to develop healthily. In return, children often develop a deep, unconscious need to preserve the family equilibrium. This can lead to an unspoken “contract”: the parents ensure safety, and the child does everything to maintain this balance—even if it means suppressing their own needs and parts of their identity.

The Dynamics of the Family “Contract”

A child is emotionally and physically dependent on the family and instinctively wants to avoid jeopardizing this bond. However, when the child notices that their authentic emotional reactions or needs could lead to tensions or conflicts within the family, they learn to suppress them. They take on the responsibility for the homeostasis of the family system—maintaining harmony and stability. This pattern serves to protect the family balance but is often associated with the denial of their own needs and identity.

This means the child learns to set aside their own wishes, feelings, and needs to avoid conflicts or meet parental expectations. The family system remains stable, but the child pays a high price: they lose contact with their authentic self as they continuously adapt and control their emotions to preserve the balance within the family.

The role of the autonomic nervous system in this dynamic

The autonomic nervous system plays a central role in this dynamic. The autonomic nervous system controls unconscious physical processes such as heartbeat, breathing and digestion. It consists of two main branches: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for the “fight or flight” response, while the parasympathetic nervous system ensures relaxation and regeneration.

When a child constantly feels that his/her needs and emotions pose a threat to the family balance, his/her nervous system becomes chronically activated. Instead of being in a relaxed and regenerative state where the parasympathetic nervous system dominates, the sympathetic nervous system is constantly activated. This leads to increased alertness and tension – a condition typically associated with stress and anxiety.

The child lives in a constant field of tension: S/he wants security, but feels that fulfilling his/her own needs could jeopardize this security. This creates constant activation of the stress system. In the long term, this can lead to the child remaining in a chronic state of tension and over-arousal, affecting not only emotional but also physical health.

Long-term effects on body and mind

If the autonomic nervous system remains permanently in a stress mode, this has far-reaching consequences. The child who later grows into an adult may still live in a state where it is difficult to relax, feel safe, or form authentic emotional connections. The suppressed needs and emotions often lead to a deep inner conflict, which can manifest itself in anxiety, depression, psychosomatic complaints or chronic stress symptoms.

In addition, this constant tension has a negative impact on the immune system, digestive system and general well-being. People who learned to deny their own needs in childhood tend to ignore themselves and their needs as adults, often leading to exhaustion and burnout.

Paths to awareness and healing

The first step to healing is becoming aware of these unconscious dynamics. Recognizing that as a child you entered into an unspoken “contract” that stabilized the family system is essential. The point is to understand that these strategies were useful in childhood to survive in a certain environment, but are no longer useful in adulthood.

A key to transformation lies in the regulation of the autonomic nervous system. Methods such as mindful breathing, meditation, yoga or somatic therapy approaches can help calm the nervous system and get out of chronic stress mode. As the nervous system learns to relax, people are able to step out of old survival patterns and become aware of their own needs again.

The role of archetypes

Another important step in this process is working with archetypes as described by Carl Gustav Jung, Joseph Campbell, Maureen Murdock, Clarissa Pinkola Estes and others. Archetypes are universal symbols anchored in the collective unconscious that embody different roles and energies in human life. By examining certain archetypes, a person can recognize which roles they have taken on within the family.

For example, someone who has learned to sacrifice themselves for the sake of family homeostasis might be strongly identified with the “helper” or “martyr” archetype. These archetypes represent the need to give up oneself in order to serve others or maintain balance. Consciously working with these archetypes can help to recognize and change these patterns. At the same time, you can integrate new archetypes such as the “Warrior” or the “Queen”, which stand for self-assertion, inner strength and standing up for your own needs.

Conclusion

The unconscious agreement that develops in early childhood between the child and his or her parents has profound effects on emotional and physical health. The need to maintain family homeostasis often leads the child to deny his or her own needs and live in a chronic state of stress and tension. To break out of this pattern, it is important to calm the nervous system and become aware of the unconscious dynamics. Working with archetypes and regulating the autonomic nervous system can help transform old survival patterns and lead an authentic, self-determined life.

Der Beitrag When contracts become invalid… erschien zuerst auf soul fish.

In the Depths of the Psyche: Recognizing and Transforming Mistrust

Angela Fischlein — Wed, 28 Aug 2024 12:16:43 +0000

In the deepest recesses of our psyche, fears and insecurities often lie dormant, influencing our trust in others and ourselves. Among women, in particular, these shadow aspects can lead to deep mistrust, reflected in archetypal patterns. These darker sides of our personality have a profound impact on our interpersonal relationships, as they often unconsciously shape our perceptions and behavior.

It is fascinating to observe how archetypes—symbolic figures that embody the darker aspects of the human psyche—play a role in our daily interactions. These archetypes not only mirror our own fears but also the collective challenges we face in relationships. In my own experience, I have often found that these hidden, often suppressed aspects of our personality have a fundamental influence on our ability to trust.

Yet, here lies a significant opportunity: If we have the courage to confront our shadows, we can break free from the patterns of mistrust that hold us back. This journey requires bravery, but it also offers an immense chance for self-realization. By facing our fears and revealing our vulnerabilities, we create space for deeper, more authentic connections with others.

In a time when superficial connections often overshadow the depth of interpersonal relationships, it is more important than ever to consciously engage with our own shadows. As a woman, it is crucial for me to recognize and let go of old patterns of mistrust, in order to build a supportive network instead. By being courageous and empathetic, we can grow together and strengthen each other.

What Does It Involve?

Recognizing Inner Patterns: Having the courage to look deep within and identify the patterns that nurture mistrust.
Addressing Hidden Fears: Speaking openly about our fears to disempower them.
Acknowledging Your Own Worth: Developing self-esteem and recognizing yourself as worthy and lovable.
Promoting Honest Communication: Communicating openly and authentically to build trust.
Solidarity Instead of Competition: Prioritizing unity and mutual support over competition.
Redefining Archetypes: Questioning and reshaping negative archetypal roles such as the Rival, the Betrayer, or the Outsider.
Consciousness Work in Communities: Working together on personal and collective consciousness development.
Taking Personal and Collective Responsibility: Taking responsibility for our own feelings and actions to heal the collective consciousness.
Sharing Knowledge: Sharing experiences and insights with one another to learn from each other.
Creating Safe Spaces: Establishing environments where everyone feels safe and supported.
Nurturing Long-Term Networks: Consciously nurturing and building relationships and networks based on trust and support.

By taking these steps, we can initiate and promote a paradigm shift within ourselves and our communities. It is a continuous process of questioning old patterns and replacing them with new, supportive, and trusting relationships.

Exploring our shadows and rediscovering the power of trust is not an easy task, but it is worthwhile.

The Archetypes of Female Mistrust

The archetypes of female mistrust are symbolic figures that embody specific fears, insecurities, and shadow aspects that often arise in relationships between women. These archetypes reflect deeply ingrained patterns that nurture mistrust and can strain relationships. Here are some of the most prominent archetypes of female mistrust:

The Rival

This archetype embodies the belief that other women pose a threat. The Rival views the world through the lens of competition, where the goal is to be the “better” one—whether in terms of appearance, success, or relationships. The feeling that there is only room for one leads to jealousy, comparisons, and a lack of solidarity.

The Betrayer

The Betrayer represents the fear of broken loyalties. This archetype assumes that friendships and alliances can easily break down, often due to intrigue or breaches of trust. Mistrust toward other women grows because one expects that their kindness or confidentiality will eventually be betrayed.

The Queen of Manipulation

This archetype uses charm, power, or emotional manipulation to exert control over other women. The Queen of Manipulation mistrusts others because she is mistrustful herself and thus believes that others are also manipulative and dishonest. This figure reflects a deep fear of losing control and prevents authentic connections.

The Outsider

The Outsider feels excluded from the community or group, believing she doesn’t belong. This perception leads to deep mistrust toward the group and its members, as she believes others intentionally exclude or devalue her. This mistrust reinforces isolation and withdrawal from social contacts.

The Distrustful Mother

This archetype projects her own fears and insecurities onto other women, often as a protective mechanism. The Distrustful Mother is overly protective and tries to shield herself and others from potential dangers. However, this creates an atmosphere of mistrust, making open communication and trust difficult.

The Perfectionist

This archetype strives for unattainable perfection and believes that other women are constantly judging her. The Perfectionist mistrusts others because she thinks that every mistake or weakness will be exploited or judged. This attitude leads to excessive self-criticism and a sense of isolation, as true closeness and understanding are perceived as dangerous.

The Shadow Warrior

The Shadow Warrior is always on guard, expecting betrayal and hostility from other women. She frequently interprets actions and words negatively, believing that others want to harm her. This constant vigilance prevents trust from developing and fosters an atmosphere of conflict.

Spiritual Guidance on the Path to Self-Discovery

The shadows of the female psyche are often deep and complex, yet they also hold immense power for transformation. By dedicating yourself to these hidden parts of your being, you can not only strengthen your trust but also develop a deeper understanding of your emotions. Archetypes serve as guides that help you recognize and accept your inner parts. They reveal the resources within you and how you can activate them to build self-confidence. Through the process of exploring and acknowledging these archetypal patterns, you gain powerful insights into yourself. Emotions play a central role in this process; they are not just companions but also teachers. By acknowledging and understanding your inner tensions, you open the door to trust and healing. On this journey, community becomes a valuable anchor. The support of others can help you find the courage to navigate your shadows and discover the full depth of your female psyche.

Feel free to add your thoughts about this subject in the comments!

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Der Beitrag In the Depths of the Psyche: Recognizing and Transforming Mistrust erschien zuerst auf soul fish.